Welcome to Sunday Morn Musings. This is my weekly free fall – writing about whatever it is that occupies the mind on a Sunday Morn. The idea of a “no topic” posting is the stepchild to a blog I used to write: Four O’Clock Thursdays which is still up there if you want to check it out – more likely, I will repurpose and republish some of those posts here over time. On Sunday Morn Musings the topic may be about blogging but just as likely it may not.
It’s time to retire certain words and phrases from the English language – or at least, give them a rest, a long rest. Perfectly good, honest, strong and hard working words that have become hackneyed through overuse, often spoken by well meaning people who really don’t understand the full meaning of those words, or, who having some acquaintance with the word and now liberally sprinkle their speech with it in the same manner an apprentice chef might make use of the salt shaker. The result is the same: too much of a good thing and the effect is spoiled.
In no particular order I submit a list of candidates.
LAW OF ATTRACTION
Ever since The Secret hit the mainstream, even those who have neither watched nor read The Secret or any of its preceding books or essays are now expert on the Law of Attraction. Have you ever had this experience? You are in conversation with someone, the topic is irrelevant and whether it is a conversation between just you and one other or in a group setting, suddenly you hear:
“… well, you know, it’s all about the law of attraction, put it out there and the universe will deliver ….”
I don’t know which rankles me more, the use of the term “law of attraction” or, “put it out there and the universe will deliver.” I know! What rankles me most is that the speaker has no bloody idea what the hell he is talking about – he thinks he does and has fallen into the trap of mainstream speak.
Equally annoying is the pregnant pause followed by “… you have seen The Secret? Right?”
This phrase is often accompanied with a look of disdain; an unmistakable implication that you are a social plebe. Clearly you’ve missed the latest personal growth trend train and haven’t picked up the lingo of that which separates those balancing on the enlightened self actualization high beam from the rest who are merely still entrenched in the troughs of basic human needs.
Give it a rest already!
PASSION/PASSIONATE
The indiscriminate use of passion or passionate – often used interchangeably – has the nails on a chalkboard effect on me.
Save me from the newly converted who have found passion and now march in the passion parade. They are legions. Most wouldn’t know passion if they tripped over it.
Passion is an extremely strong and evocative word and few are the mortals who live their lives in this most rare state of being. At some point or another, every human, I hope, experiences some form of unbridled passion. It is both heady and seductive and can be emotionally draining yet satiating. Passion at best drives a vision, at the least is a fleeting moment of heat and lest your mind instantly jumps to sex, the heat can be any strong emotional feeling including hate, rage, contempt and yes, sexual. It is by interpretation an intense emotion.
Intensity cannot be sustained for long. It would leave you limp as a ragged doll unable to function in the dull day to day minutia of the living of life.
To the leaders of the passion parade that shout “Find your passion and the money will follow” I say Bullshit! Shame on you! You are doing a great disservice.
I recently spoke with an enlightened teacher. She is a career counselor at the high school where she is employed. She told me that when she sits down with her students she helps them discover their passion and then points them in the right direction.
Excuse me.
You don’t help someone “discover” their passion. They either have it or they don’t. Given, a good mentor can help fans the flames into a roaring fire but the spark needed for the flame is internal and deep down one already knows it, feels it. Those who know it must also “have” it, that is they have to have something in their being that drives them to achieve in the face of adversity – and trust me, all the greats have faced adversity that would have crushed the merely talented.
Passion isn’t injected.
Passion isn’t developed.
Passion isn’t imbued or fired up by some external force or person … I have another word for those who succumb to the charms and beguilements of a Svengali and it has nothing to do with passion.
I would have been happier had the teacher said that she helped students uncover their latent talents – what are they naturally good at, what are they pre-disposed to do well in. A dormant talent uncovered may eventually lead to a passionate relationship with a career thus chosen but I’ll place my bet on not.
This teacher was merely parroting what is in vogue – a passionate career.
AGGRESSIVE vs ASSERTIVE.
Social engineers have been hard at work here and it is not so much for the retirement of either aggressive or assertive that I am setting a case for, but for re-instituting the word aggressive to be used in proper context. A recent exchange went something like this:
First Person (FP): Business in Toronto is different from how it’s done here in Vancouver
Second Person(SP): Yes. Toronto is far more aggressive in approach
FP: Well no, relationship building is more important
SP: True. But in Toronto there is an unspoken understanding that we are both busy, so lets stop with the kissy face and get down to brass tacks. In Vancouver the tendency is to first dance before sitting down to earnest business discussions. So in that context I would say that Toronto is more aggressive.
FP: Well maybe more assertive/
SP: Assertive? Let me ask you: do you run assertive or aggressive marketing campaigns?
FP: Well, which would you rather be perceived as, aggressive or assertive?
HUH!
(let’s leave the exchange here … it got ugly)
Liberal social engineers have labelled aggressive as a word that should be struck from our language, it is associated with warlike activities and we, after all, love peace and not war, therefore, much like smoking in public, it has become socially inept and unacceptable to be aggressive.
Corporations bowing to changing social mores, traipse out the travelling dog and pony shows for hire and unleash them on their unsuspecting employees to ensure that all are properly briefed on what is and what is not acceptable verbiage in the workplace.
The word assertive isn’t exactly a pussycat either and may even be interpreted as being more sinister. I would say that aggressive and assertive are two words that are just a different shade of pale and interestingly enough are listed as synonyms in the dictionary. Just as you would apply the proper shade of paint for a particular ambience you want to achieve in a room so too you should use the proper “shade” of word to denote your true meaning.
Are there words that you would like to add to this list? Words you would like to send off on a hiatus to be returned years or even decades later so that once again they can be given the due respect they deserve? The list is not exhaustive. What words bug you and why. It would be interesting to have a discussion here.


#1 by Catrien Ross on April 11, 2010 - 17:03
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Valentina, thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I very much appreciate this post and thank you for your honest touching on this topic. I laughed aloud at what you wrote about the true meaning of passion and you are so right – this word now drops easily from the lips but is not felt deep in the bones, where it can be earth-shattering.
I agree with you that we cannot “discover” our passion, much less when imposed or directed from without. But I think we can “uncover” it because modern society can and does suppress and bottle up our genuine nature so that we become strangers even to ourselves. Some crisis, some shift in awareness, and the lid can be taken off our inner passions – and the world is made new.
What I enjoyed so much about your post is your clear love of words and deep sensitivity to their use. It is this awareness that has been dulled, misdirected, and debased. We have forgotten that words have power, but only when connected to the true source within.
Thank you for sharing your interesting thoughts this Monday morning in Japan – Catrien Ross.
.-= Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Finding 9 Powerful Meanings in Your Smile When You Don’t Feel Like Smiling =-.
#2 by Valentina on April 11, 2010 - 21:26
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Hi Catrien,
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your very thoughtful comment – you are right, as we grow up and “mature” life and responsibility throttle the living daylights out of our passions – or, dreams.
Japan? How symbiotic. I was born and raised in Yokohama.
Please drop by often – the door is always open at Blog Income.
Twitter:@goldenkoi[goldenkoi]
#3 by Patricia on April 12, 2010 - 11:36
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Valentina,
I so agree with you – some words are just worn out phrases and often just the latest fad of the day used in a form of showmanship. Some of the most overused leave me with a wee taste of being unimportant or uninformed, whereas I often find it is the speaker who does not understand and usually does not listen either.
I have a whole new respect for the word passion after listening to the folks working for liberty in South American – working with compassion to right the wrongs…I can no longer take that word in as a surface expression any more.
#4 by Valentina on April 12, 2010 - 12:32
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Hi Patricia and welcome to Blog Income!
I love the word passion and all that it means and I think that it is a word that should be treasured and not bandied about like any other … would like to learn more about the folks working for liberty in S.A.
Twitter:@goldenkoi[goldenkoi]
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